Faux Fashion Wisdom

High-Waisted Trousers A bit of an obvious choice to start with, but hear me out. I think that, given the right fabric, cut and figure, high-waisted trousers can be very hot. Think navy jersey or crepe on a whippet thin body, and it's fresh but classic. It evokes the best of Chanel and early twentieth-century sportswear. The wrong cut and fabric, even on a 00 frame, can make the wearer look like she's swathed in diapers. So not hot.

Colour makes me squeamish. I know it's a good thing. The all-black wardrobe signals a lack of imagination rather than a surfeit of sophistication. But colour can look so cheap. Unless the fabric and style are spot-on, your fancy bright-coloured tunic can look like it came from the bargain bin rather than the boutique. Coloured leather makes me especially nervous. Yellow shoes look so nasty with a week's worth of city grime. I think colour works on the beach and at the weekend. In a silk or other fabulous material, it makes a great statement in the evening. As always with colour, choosing what flatters your skin rather than what's features on the racks will always keep you on the right side of fashion.


White Sunglasses I think this is a seriously awesome trend. Awesome as in fear-inducing. Fashion has been pretty safe for a long time. Now with the whole retro 80's vibe going we're finally starting to see some bold statements. Some work and some don't. White sunglasses work for about .99999 % of the population. The rest of us will be cringing every time we see our digi snaps from the summer of 2006. Speaking of sunglasses, I find the whole oversized vibe fascinating. Like big bags and even bigger coffee cups, this trend seems to exist for one reason only. And that's to make the girl-child wearing or carrying them look even smaller.

Leggings I wore these the first time round, so this trend is pretty tired for me. I had great pair of vintage stirrup pants that belonged to my mother. I think that look rocked pretty hard. What I hate most about leggings is the singular lack of imagination they show. And the fact that they look pretty rubbish. Plus if they're not made from breathable material, they can give you thrush, which is never fashion forward.

Fur We knew this one had to come back. I grew up in Canada, where it's seriously cold for half of the year. When I was a teenager, I went through a kick of buying vintage furs. Persian lamb was my absolute favourite. I wore it with leggings and loafers, which sounds tragic, but made me feel pretty wicked cool at the time. With my sunglasses and cigarettes, I seriously felt like I was channelling the best of Edie Sedgwick. Ah. Good times. I have a number of objections to fur, some ethical others aesthetic. For one, I think you need to live somewhere sub-zero before you can even contemplate a fur coat. Second, you need to be an uber-woman. Britney, Mary-Kate Ashley, et al, look like little kids playing dress up. They're just not femme enough to pull it off. If you're going to wear fur, your bod needs to be seriously lush. I doubt any of those girls have enough body fat to menstruate regularly.