Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Drugs Don't Work

Research conducted at Harvard has found that fresh flowers can reduce anxiety and depression. According to the study, the presence of flowers in the home had a positive effect on the subjects' feelings and attitudes, leading to greater compassion, increased energy and fewer feelings of anxiety and depression. Which is good news, since a new report published today asserts that Prozac and other SSRIs don't work. Speaking of Prozac, I wonder what Elizabeth Wurtzel thought when she read the report? I guess it doesn't make her look like a total chump. The research did concede that Prozac et al could still help the seriously depressed. The report recommends that drugs should be prescribed only if all other avenues, such as counselling, have failed.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Making Love Work

The secret to keeping two lovers: divide up the duties

Linda Blair
Wednesday February 13, 2008

Guardian

Just imagine it. A younger lover to fulfil all your physical desires and another, more mature and settled partner to share your domestic bliss, even take delight in running the home and in raising your offspring. Doesn't that sound ideal?

Tilda Swinton, 47, who appeared at the Baftas on Sunday with artist Sandro Kopp, 29, recently said of her partner, 68-year-old director and artist John Byrne, "We ostensibly live in the same house, but I travel the world with another delightful painter. The arrangement is just so sane."

A moment's sober reflection brings you to the conclusion that "ideal" is exactly what this is. Surely, no one can be truly content to stay at home while their partner enjoys lust and leisure elsewhere? Surely, a stay-at-home partner must feel jealous?

Not according to Byrne, who has told reporters: "We're amicably living together in the same house, under the same roof. It's extraordinary. We love each other too, in an extraordinary way."

Human beings are remarkable for their diversity, and that includes the vast range of relationships we can create and maintain. And the most important ingredient in any relationship is a good matching of needs. That is, the sum total of everyone's needs must be met within the relationship. This is a rarity within any relationship - almost never does one person meet all the needs of their partner. Most of us either simply accept that some of our needs will go unmet, or we fulfil them - usually, the less controversial ones - outside our primary relationship.

But another way to resolve this mismatch is to fulfil some of your desires with one person, and the rest with someone else, ensuring that all parties are aware of, and happy with, this arrangement.

An important factor in a successful tripartite setup - as indeed in any more conventional relationship - is open and honest communication. Any secrets in this often delicate arrangement have the potential to create a sense of betrayal that can damage the relationship at least as much as the pain of jealousy. And speaking of jealousy, it has no place in a happy tripartite relationship. Jealousy is about possession, and not wanting to share.

In summary, then, for anyone thinking of entering into and maintaining a happy relationship with not just one but two others, I suggest that you begin by finding two individuals whose needs meet yours, and who don't feel jealous of one another. Once you have managed this feat, you'll need vast amounts of time and energy to keep things running smoothly. I leave it to you to decide whether it's worth the effort.

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News and Media Limited 2008

Monday, February 11, 2008

Simple Solution

For reasons known only to herself, my greyhound occasionally pees on the carpet. Not ever day, not every week, but every now and again. It doesn't matter if she's been out for a walk or cooped up in the house. She pees on a patch of carpet near the front window then slinks off. I have yet to catch her doing this. Until then, I am left to clean up the mess. I searched the web and found recommendations for Simple Solution. I tried it yesterday, and although the patch isn't quite dry yet, it did seem to help. It picked up the old stains and took care of the odour. Fingers crossed it will lift the stain completely.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Shuttle Launch

Today marked the successful launch of the latest NASA shuttle. It's a bittersweet moment, because I saw the shuttle on the launchpad a few months ago in better times. Much has changed since then.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Roasted Vegetables

Stripped of my usual comforts, I have had a difficult few days adjusting to life on the South Beach diet. Yes, I feel more energetic. Yes, I am fizzing with vitamins, fibre and leafy goodness. But I miss the soft calm feeling that only carbs can bring.


Image: www.epicurious.com