While the bf dozes, I am still awake. Had a major anxiety attack for no apparent reason--other than the million things stressing me out right now. Why is it that when my head hits the pillow all my worries seem to float up to the surface? I'm sipping tequila out of a bar shot glass, hoping I can numb myself and get some sleep. We have an early morning flight tomorrow for Espana. To be honest, I would rather stay home and get some work done. It's supposed to be a b-day treat for my other; however, as he has made known in word and deed, it is not exactly what he'd hoped for. Tell me about it. I thought I would be married by now, and I'm still waiting for a fucking confirmation of that proposal received three years ago. Sigh . . . Tragic but the tequila is easing the pain. Isn't that the first sign of alcoholism? Or is the seventh? I can't remember.
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